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When you stop caring so much, things fall into place

Updated: May 12, 2022

There are two kinds of people. The desperate ones that are constantly on the chase, either goals, money or people, and the other ones that don’t care so much and most of the time get better results.

Don’t take this the wrong way, if you don’t care about your goals and you don’t work on them you won’t achieve them. But caring so much and trying too hard might make things worse than expected.

The key here is to find the middle way, to find a balance. That’s the point of peak performance without stress. You do the necessary work but don’t overthink and over analyze to the point that it makes you frustrated, that’s what I mean by not caring too much and that takes mental effort. That’s an art not many can master.

Hard work leads to frustration, stress and burnout, and these things will lead somewhere worse than your current situation. If hard work was the answer, firefighters would be filthy rich. Hard work is an outdated model that doesn’t work so efficiently today given our technology and access to information and resources thanks to it.

“Working hard and working smart sometimes are two different things” - Byron Dorgan

Another one thing that hard work might not give you the results that you expect is that you are forcing your mind mentally to struggle its way to accomplishment. It’s really the most important thing that you need in your journey, your mind, and if you don’t take the time to learn how it operates, it will always work against you sooner or later and this is going to be reflected in your body and energy.

There’s something magical when you just do what you have to do without stress and huge expectations. Of course this takes mental effort, practice and time to develop but once you master your mental being, success will come as a byproduct effortlessly.

Research has found that when you keep your mind relaxed, or being mindful in other words, solutions, insights and breakthroughs come to you. When you are relaxed you become a better decision-maker. Keeping your mind in constant stress what you’re actually doing is not letting it help you.

“The culture precedes positive results. It doesn’t get tacked on as an afterthought on your way to the victory stand. Champions behave like champions before they’re champions. They have a winning standard of performance before they are winners” — Bill Walsh

By not caring, or by not being desperate about the results, and just focusing on the process, the results will still come. You need the process to reach the destination, but if your eyes are glued to the destination, it will make the process not so enjoyable, and probably if you don’t enjoy it you won’t enjoy the destination either.

How and why we should stop caring so much about the results and focus only on the process?

Having your eyes glued on the results will make you miss on opportunities to make a better product or anything that you’re working on. Results always come. By having your attention on the process, will help you get the best possible results.

This requires a shift in mindset. There are people with an outcome oriented mindset and people with process oriented mindset. Outcome is just an effect of the process. So the better the process, the better the outcome.

This is why I’m suggesting you here to stop caring about the results, about the outcomes, and just be focused on the task in front of you without any expectations. Just do the tasks for the sake of doing them and the results will fix themselves.

The more focused you are in the task in hand, the more you’ll enjoy the process, and good results will come effortlessly without you having to stress all the time.

“In a person’s career, well, if you’re process-oriented and not totally outcome-oriented, then you’re more likely to be a success. I often say ‘pursue excellence, ignore success.’ Success is a by-product of excellence.” — Deepak Chopra

This is the real meaning behind not caring so much. Stop looking for the outcome and be totally focused on the process.

How do we stop caring about the outcome and start focusing on the process instead? By reverse engineering your goal. Break your goal into the tiniest and easiest action that you can immediately take. And keep taking that action every day.

Let’s say that your goal is to write a book. Break that goal into daily goals like writing a page or a paragraph per day, and keep doing that every day.

“The secret of success is found in your daily routine”

This will make you feel that you’re winning every day, because now you are focused on the daily goals instead of that big goal of finishing your book.

If you keep doing that the book will be finished eventually. But you don’t want a crappy book, this is why you must stop caring about the end result and be focused on the process instead.

Day by day, week by week, month by month, you’ll be feeling this satisfaction of accomplishment, and this will shift your mindset.

It’s different when you are focused on the big goal everyday and feeling that you’re still far, and when you are focused on the daily goals and feeling that you’re winning your days and coming closer to your big goal day by day.

Success is a series of small wins

This will impact your mood and will probably affect positively other areas of your life. This is how you enjoy the process.


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